yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
