Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
