This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So many bounce houses so little time
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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