if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society