HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
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Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night