well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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