It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️