I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?