Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.