she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...