You can't special order awesome
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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