I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
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So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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