she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
