help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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