I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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