He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
