another moral hangover. fuck.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My cat gives me a boner
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
