Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
