OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Drake has all the answers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
