i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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