Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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