If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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