if i can run in heels then i can drive
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
