Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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