yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
