I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We had sex on a dog bed..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
