What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Are we in a gay sports bar?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You don't make any sense
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