1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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