she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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