whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
