Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
