I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We have started to decorate penises.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
