every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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