No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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