Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Randomize
