Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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