So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
