Having a random hookup so left but love u
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Randomize
