and you said cock pushups were impossible
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
