you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
