thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
