yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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