Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
