i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
