You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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