I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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