There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize