He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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