We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
