I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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