Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
