She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
