Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize