There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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