As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
A+ Viking dick
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
