just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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