"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
