fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Ketchup is God's man juice
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
