Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
