I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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