in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
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opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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