People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
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Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
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Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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