The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
