is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
