It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
